I’m a pretty easy going type of professor and it generally takes a lot to annoy me.  For the most part, I have the patience of a saint.  I attribute that to my years as an elementary and middle school teacher.

But that’s for the most part.

Like many others, I have my triggers.  They are simple, but like fingernails being dragged across a chalkboard, any one of these triggers can take me from a blissful and Zen state and completely ruin my day.

Although I would never recommend anyone doing this, I’m giving the reader five easy steps to annoy your professor.

Use with caution.

Step 1: Act like you haven’t read the syllabus

Professors spend a lot of time writing a syllabus for each class and crucial information students need is in the syllabus.  Crucial information includes exam dates, assignment due dates, holidays, and course requirements.

Students will ask me the date of an exam or when an assignment is due.  I respond that I haven’t committed this to memory – that’s why it’s in the syllabus!

Other students have attempted showing up to class on a holiday – only to find the classroom locked.  They will message me wondering where I am.  I generally take my time responding and read over my response several times before hitting “send.”

Consider the class syllabus like a treasure map – treasure it, read it, know it.

Step 2: Ask what your grade is

The answer to this question can take many forms.  The simplest is simply, “I don’t know.”

A grade is a snapshot in time, so the answer to the question changes over the course of days or weeks – as assignments are completed or not completed.

Go-getting students would never ask this question.  They would keep a running total of assignments as they are completed, graded and returned.

Now with online learning management systems, students have access to their grades in real time and course requirements now include students having access to and being familiar with technology.

Be proactive.  Spend time learning how to use the technology.  Be the driver of your educational experience – don’t just let it happen.

Step 3: Come to class unprepared

This almost goes without saying.  And this is nothing new.  Elementary, middle, and high school teachers all would have had the same expectation.

Taking a lab class?  Bring your lab manual, a pencil and eraser!  No one has ever suggested graphing or drawing shapes and angles with a pen!

Taking an exam?  Bring a Scantron, pencil and eraser!

One student attempted to take an exam using a pen on his Scantron, then acted surprised when I told him that it couldn’t be graded – that the grading machine only grades penciled in answers.

Other students act surprised that they need a Scantron to take an exam – even though it’s written in the SYLLABUS!

Be prepared.  It should be more than a boy or girl scout motto.

Step 4: Forget basic English and Math conventions

Students have spent the previous 13 years learning, perfecting, and practicing basic conventions in English and Math.  Many students seem to forget these the moment they leave high school.

Although the class I teach is an introductory Science course, I expect basic English conventions such as correct punctuation, capital letters used correctly, and correct spelling of basic words.  Of course with technology so readily available, resources to help even the worst spellers are but a click away.

Each semester I have students who forget how to calculate a percentage or correctly use a protractor to measure angles.  One student informed me that he forgot how to use a protractor.  I responded that the correct answer was that he never mastered it in the first place.

Rubbing salt in the wound, I added that my fourth grade students arrived in my class having already mastered those skills.

I think taking personal pride in one’s learning is important.  It should be, like grooming.

Step 5: Give up before you even start

I have yet to see someone try their best and fail.  But I have seen many students through the years give up before expending even the most minimal effort.  I don’t know why.  I have never done this so I don’t understand the mindset of people who think like this.

I have seen intelligent but lazy students fail without putting forth any effort.  I have seen students with disabilities struggle and succeed.

As someone with a disability myself, I completely understand the challenge of having to put in effort, often more than my peers.  Anything worthwhile requires effort.

I think that this also requires taking personal pride in one’s learning and achievement.

Have a Winning Mindset

Or course no one would ever advocate annoying your professor, or someone who is in your best interests to be on their good side.  The takeaway is to do the exact opposite. 

Find out what annoys your professor (or boss, or best friend, or significant other, or warden) and don’t ever do that thing.